I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
