i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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