You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
