this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
