This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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