So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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