You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
