Your face is a jimmy john
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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