the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize