you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
