i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
