She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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