playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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