come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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