WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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