I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
