in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
