it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just had sex bonerless
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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