Yo dont text me then not text me
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
