Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
