You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We have started to decorate penises.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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