I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
