it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
