Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
And then my night got REAL pukey
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
