So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
