Non-Jews are for practice
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
