I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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