yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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