so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
