Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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