We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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