Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
