I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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