shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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