Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Floor bacon is actually really good
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
