Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize