Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
