4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
