no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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