I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
