why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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