Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
