My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
