so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
