All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize