I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
