I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
