And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
