thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
