i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Too much gin, very little bucket
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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