Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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