She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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