How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
nutella sex= disaster
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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