we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Still dying that you shit outside
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
