Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
