is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
