Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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