dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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