so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
