what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize